I think the phrase “relationships are complicated” is often used with a negative connotation. I know that I have used it that way. Those moments when you have your first fight with a friend or significant other, when you accidentally say something that offends your loved one and you don’t know what you did wrong, when someone you love is going through a hard time and you don’t know how to help…
The list goes on as to why relationships get complicated, and why that may be seen as a negative thing (or at least, a very challenging thing.)
I think we’ve all had those experiences where when things got complicated, either we or the other party has bolted. I have bolted. And I have been bolted from. And so, we kind of begin to expect that to be the typical outcome when relationships become challenging for one reason or another.
But some friendships and relationships really stand the test of time. I had made assumptions that I wouldn’t really have any friends left once I left Tennessee, especially when I may go a year or two without seeing them. We’ve all grown and changed in that time. We’re not the same people, so we can’t stay friends right? That has proven to be untrue with some. We have changed, maybe we have less in common, but we keep showing up and our relationships keep finding a way.
Somehow, that feels even better, even stronger than when we had been the people we were who saw each other on a regular basis.
To be able to navigate the complicated area of, “it’s been a while” and “I’ve changed a bit” and still be able to share meals with joy and laughter makes me appreciate a relationship all the more. It’s different, but familiar. It’s like coming home.
It’s complicated, but no one is bolting. We’re choosing to stay. And I think we’re better for it.